Sleeping in the Storm

Then He got in the boat, His disciples with Him. The next thing they knew, they were in a severe storm. Waves were crashing into the boat — and He was sound asleep! They roused Him, pleading, “Master, save us! We’re going down!” Jesus reprimanded them. “Why are you such cowards, such faint-hearts?” Then He stood up and told the wind to be silent, the sea to quiet down: “Silence!” The sea became smooth as glass. — Matthew 8:23-26 (The Message)

By the time my marriage and family started to take on water at an alarming rate, sleep was already not my friend. I was in a full-blown battle with anxious sleeplessness, worried and desperate for God to make things be ok, for us to make it through the storm. Needless to say, huge understatement, this did not help things.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength." ~ Corrie Ten Boom

Two years ago, I fought every single night for hours at a time all summer long, for three months solid. I ached for sleep. I would have paid big bucks for 9 hours of precious REM. During the day when I had a thousand things to do and five kids needing my attention, I was bone-deep exhausted and could have slept a solid eight, but past midnight, not a wink could be had. When sleep would not come, irrational fears (and, it later turned out, very rational and well-founded fears) crept in, middle-of-the-night anxiety, spiritual warfare for my marriage, my husband and older son, and in this state of exhaustion, the creeky house noises only freaked me out further.

At 2am, let's just say the inside of my head can be a very bad neighborhood.

I have still struggled from time to time in the last year with the midnight fear sessions, but thankfully not often. Still, a few weeks ago, I heard this message from Pastor Choco de Jesus that hit me straight between the eyes.

"You know what Jesus is telling you 

when you're going through storms in your life?

You're going through a separation or divorce... 

You're going through a hard time...

You know what He's trying to tell you?

'GO TO SLEEP!'

Go to sleep. There's no reason for you to be up at 2:00 in the morning worrying about things. 
Go to sleep."

~ Pastor Wilfred "Choco" de Jesus

He preached that sermon, looked straight into my soul, and practically shouted directly at me, "Anna! Ignore the storm. Pay no attention to the waves and the rip-tides and go to sleep! God is bigger than and utterly in command of any storm." 

Then, of course, I totally deleted it from my memory bank 16 hours later and walked straight into the 'hood at 2am and let the what-ifs, the panic, and self-condemnation start another riot.

In the morning, I thought, "Really? Still?"and I saw those message notes on my desk (right next to me all night long). Darn it! If only I had turned on the light (How's that for a metaphor?) and gotten into the Word and digested again Jesus' perfect peace!

• God has got it. (Psalm 46:10, Psalm 115:11, Isaiah 44:8)
• He is good. (Psalm 121:1-2, Psalm 100:5, Psalm 143:10)
• He is loving. (Psalm 144:2, Isaiah 43:1, Zephaniah 3:17, Luke 1:78)
• He is with me. (Psalm 56:3-4, Isaiah 41:10, Daniel 10:12 Matthew 11:28-30)
• Don't worry about anything. (Psalm 34:4, Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 12:2, Matthew 6:25-34, Matthew 14:27-31, John 14:27, Romans 8:31-39, 1 Peter 5:6-7)
• Instead pray and give thanks. (Psalm 107:1, Psalm 118:1, 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Revelation 11:17)
• Everything's going to be ok! (Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 3:20-21, 1 Peter 5:7)

Jesus isn't worried. Why should I be? How can I so easily forget that?

"Rest is not some holy feeling that comes upon us in church. It is a state of calm rising from a heart deeply and firmly established in God." ~ Henry Drummond

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. — Philippians 4:4-9

So, if I want that peace, I have to practice rejoicing, setting aside anxiety, thanking God for His goodness, guarding my heart and mind, thinking about the right things and leaving the rest to God. It's changing the way I choose to live from the inside out. Squeeze an orange and orange juice comes out. When life puts the squeeze on, what's inside comes out. 

For me, some of what has surfaced and what the Lord has been dealing with through this storm is fear and anxiety, lack of faith, my control freak tendencies, self-condemnation, and ultimately my not yet living my true identity in Christ Jesus. 

I'm safe in Him. Forgiven. Loved. And able to rest wholly in His sufficiency. 

Recently, I turned my mother onto one of my very favorite devotionals, the classic Streams in the Desert by L. B. Cowman. She told me about a passage that ministered to her. It was just a short poem. As dawn broke on that particular midnight worry session, it occurred to me that it was actually a song. A song I taught my kids years ago. "With Christ in the vessel, I smile at the storm."

How many times have I sung that and didn't pay one bit of active attention to it? How many years had God been singing out to me the assurance of His presence and the opportunity for perfect peace in the middle of suffering, heartbreak, worry, illness, or uncertainty.

I don't have to freak out! The sun is shining, not just up above the clouds, but right here. Right now. The God of the Universe is on His Throne. And, it's going to be alright.

Across the storm, God's assuring voice sings love.

My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. — Philippians 4:19

God has got it. Even if everything goes completely opposite of anything looking remotely like what you desire or think is right. Even if... God is in control. 

God's got it.

He is good. 
He is loving.
And He is with you.
You don't have to worry about anything. 

Instead pray and give thanks.
Everything is going to be ok.

In this life when trouble comes there's a place we can go.
We can hide in the promises that when trouble comes it's when we grow

Peace in the middle of the storm

There's peace in the middle of the storm

Winds of change may blow your way

There's peace in the middle of the storm

Peace in the middle of the storm

There's peace in the middle of the storm

His mercy's new for us today

There's peace in the middle, in the middle, in the middle of the storm

In this world, you never know when your time has come

But we can be sure that when it's time we'll have peace of mind that the battle's won

Peace in the middle of the storm

Peace in the middle of the storm

Winds of change may blow your way

There's peace in the middle of the storm

Peace in the middle of the storm

There's peace in the middle of the storm

His mercy's new for us today

There's peace in the middle, in the middle, in the middle of the storm

It's gonna be alright!

It's gonna be alright!

It's gonna be alright!

It's gonna be alright!

~Chris Lizotte, Peace in the Middle of the Storm

Are you in a storm, sweet one? Are you wondering where God is and what He's doing? Are you up at 2am with anxiety and fear? Remember, Jesus isn't worried. He has complete authority over your storm. And He says, "I love you. I've got this. Go to sleep."

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. — Luke 12:7

When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought me joy. — Psalm 94:19

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. — 1 Corinthians 16:13

Now, may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. — 2 Thessalonians 3:16