Today, I had an absolutely bone-crushing conversation. I extended an olive branch to my husband because a special day is coming up.
He laid into me like never before about all the things I've ever done wrong, including greatly exaggerated evils about me, how I have "intentionally" done this, "knowingly" done that, and "purposefully" done this. Blame, shame, cynicism, hardness, rage, like buckets of acid on my skin. No matter how much I raise the white flag, quiet my voice, humble myself, offer love, grace, repentance, and compassion, it does not end. He simply cannot handle my personal brand of crazy. He has tried, but I have blown it too much. I am just too broken for him.
As soon as I begged off the conversation, I cried out to God, and immediately flopped my Bible open
to a note inside...
A Love Letter.
From Jesus to me.
To you. To us all.
"Oh, how beautiful you are to Me! I love you as a husband loves his bride. In My eyes, there is no flaw in you. You are without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish. You are holy and blameless in My sight. You have stolen My heart as a bride steals her husband's heart.
I am the One who gave you life and made you grow like a plant in the field. You grew up and developed and became the most beautiful of all jewels. I spread the corner of My garment over you and covered you. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine. I saved you and called you to a holy life -- not because of anything you have done but because of My own purpose and grace.
I have committed Myself to you forever, in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I have raised My banner of love over you. I take great delight in you. I quiet you with My Love and rejoice over you with singing.
I have prepared a special place for you in My house. It is far greater than anything you could imagine. And that is where we will live, together forever and ever.
I love you."
Psalm 23.6
Song of Solomon 4.1, 7, 9
Ezekiel 16.6-8
Hosea 2.19
Zephaniah 3.17
John 14.2-3
Ephesians 5.25-27
2 Timothy 1.9
How can I not be wildly in love with my Jesus?!
He LOVES me!
My heart breaks for you!! I wish I had brilliant words to make you feel better and hurt a little less. Just know that you are loved!! I will pray for your heart and for healing!!
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