Comfort in Dismay

Usually, I love them.

They start immediately after Thanksgiving pie, once it's officially Christmastime. 

But, all the upbeat Christmas songs feel like sandpaper on my skin this year. Not the hymns, not the traditional carols. But the holly jolly, ho-ho-ho, jingle bell-y ones I simply can't enjoy. Grandma got run over, Rudolph, Frosty, Santa Baby. (Don't get me started on the romantic Christmas songs. Serious ouch.)

There's nothing wrong with those songs. There's nothing wrong with the magical, much-anticipated traditions of Christmas, little children jingling bells, hair combed carefully, wearing patent leather shoes and their dressiest clothes for the Christmas concert.

I have little ones. We will be visiting the real Santa Claus at his beach house nearby soon. Our Elf-on-the-shelf is still doing his thing this year. 

It's not that.

It's just hard to enter into the lighthearted, hot cocoa, peppermint stick, twinkle-lights kind of magic of Christmas now.

Not this year.

What do you do with suffering and grief at Christmastime? How do we reconcile threat, danger, heartbreak, disaster, abandonment, trauma, betrayal, loss, fear, devastation, and broken relationships with Christmas? What about war, famine, disease, murder, the slaughter of little children and those trying to protect them in Connecticut? Unthinkable pain! Unimaginable grief!


How valuable, imperative really, are those friends who are able to share the agony, to share our weeping with us, to walk with us through suffering? Grief shared brings such comfort. Aren't you drawn towards that friend who can ease and calm and selflessly help, for the friend who knows when to talk and when to be silent, who groans with you.

And that is what Jesus came to bring. Comfort. Emmanuel. God with us.

This year, I'm hearing the lyrics of the great carols as if for the first time.

Long lay the world
In sin and error pining
Til HE appeared
And the soul felt its worth

My cousin reminded me about the comma placement in "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen." She said, "This carol is not talking to merry gentlemen. Quite the reverse, in fact. This hymn is tidings (news) of comfort and joy to those who are in dismay. 'Remember, Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day to save us all from Satan's power when we were gone astray.' True celebration of Christmas doesn't ignore evil in the world; it acknowledges that our world is in such a state that only a child born to us who can rightly be called Mighty God can give light to those walking in darkness." (M. H. Price)

Christ came to enter into our suffering, to be with us, to share in our trials, and to endure humiliation, rejection, judgment, scorn, threat, and a terrible death meant to shame and destroy Him, and all to redeem us from our sin bringing us comfort and JOY!

What LOVE! 

Yesterday was our 22nd anniversary. The first non-iversary. I feel like a widow. Grieving. Exhausted. Fearful. As well as rejected. Shamed. Abandoned. And yet, the Lord Jesus is here. Near. Bringing comfort. Emmanuel. God with me. 

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

And saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Ps 34.18

"O come, O come, Emmanuel

And ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice! 

Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

"Come, Thou long expected Jesus

Born to set Thy people free

From our fears and sins release us

Let us find our rest in Thee."

"Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay

Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.

Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care,

And fit us for Heaven, to live with Thee there."